{"id":4728,"date":"2022-09-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-09-13T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/witanddelight.com\/?p=101724"},"modified":"2022-09-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2022-09-13T11:00:00","slug":"3-meaningful-ways-to-practice-self-care-as-an-introvert","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ozapp.com.au\/?p=4728","title":{"rendered":"3 Meaningful Ways to Practice Self-Care as an Introvert"},"content":{"rendered":"

Listen. There are a lot of introverts out there observing the world as it turns, quietly contributing as much as everyone else\u2014just differently. It is an extrovert\u2019s world, and trying to find our place within it can be exhausting to the point where a single work meeting can take it out of us introverts, let alone a day\u2019s worth of meetings. Add to that the inherent need to spend time with family and friends, and an introvert can be pulped by the time they get home.<\/p>\n

We are told not to think about life in terms of a pie: When you take a piece of my pie, that means I have fewer pieces to myself. But when it comes to introverts and our precious energy, life is<\/em> like a pie, and extroverts can unknowingly leave us with mere crumbs after a social interaction. It\u2019s not exactly acceptable to turn down every offer of social interaction due to wanting to keep our pieces of pie, nor is it healthy. So what\u2019s an introvert to do when there are so many demands on their time where they\u2019re expected to show up happy and outgoing, a quantifiable addition?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not going to speak loudly because it\u2019s against my nature, but I\u2019m here to remind you fellow introverts to take care of yourself.<\/u><\/em><\/strong> It\u2019s okay to need some time alone to decompress, to obsess over all the things you said and everything you wish you would\u2019ve said instead. And it\u2019s okay, too, if your unwinding looks like TV and a cozy blanket, a cup of tea. Maybe some snuggles with a puppy.<\/p>\n

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It\u2019s not exactly acceptable to turn down every offer of social interaction. . . . So what\u2019s an introvert to do when there are so many demands on their time where they\u2019re expected to show up happy and outgoing, a quantifiable addition?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

What I think it comes down to is making yourself number one and, while there are many other important things outside of yourself, remembering that number one comes before everything else. Here\u2019s the important thing: I\u2019m not talking about going to get a pedicure once a month. I\u2019m talking about day after day, carving out space for silence and reflection, indulging in your own needs for alone time, however you want to spend it.<\/p>\n

I have by no means mastered the introvert\u2019s way of caring for oneself, but I have learned over the past few years how to manage my introversion in a world where I\u2019m expected to show up over and over with energy and charisma.<\/p>\n

Here are some recommendations for practicing self-care as an introvert:<\/h2>\n

Create boundaries, then stick with them<\/strong><\/h2>\n

If you require fifteen minutes between work meetings, demand that space. Schedule it in. Refuse to meet if it encroaches on your you-time. I know it\u2019s a lot more complicated than this, and saying no isn\u2019t always easy (or possible), but you have your job for a reason. You are good at what you do and nobody does it quite like you do. If the people you work with want this version of you, they must respect your needs. And your needs might very well be a quick walk or a ten-minute meditation in between meetings. You will bring a lot more of yourself to these meetings if you carve out the time necessary to really be<\/em> that person.<\/p>\n

Do your colleagues do back-to-back meetings all day long? They\u2019re probably extroverts. And if not, watch as their energy dwindles over the course of the day. We\u2019re not meant to go-go-go all day long without some time to pause, take a breath, and process what we\u2019ve just experienced, but it seems like so many peoples\u2019 schedules are designed that way, which is why I don\u2019t back down on my claim (which isn\u2019t unique) that we live in an extrovert\u2019s world.<\/p>\n

This is important with friends and family, too. I have a small, very close friend group who gets together whenever we can. Which, now that we have ten children between the six of us girls, isn\u2019t all that often. In conversations with some of the extroverts in the group, I\u2019ve told them I\u2019m not the kind of person who can have plans every night. Whereas some of us prefer to do things one-on-one, when it comes to seeing my friends, I prefer all of them at once. I need time to recover after a night out with them. I bring as much of myself as I possibly can to a birthday dinner or a trip to a brewery, and afterward, I\u2019m ready to lock myself in my room and let silence and relaxation restore me. It\u2019s not plausible for me to spend equal amounts of time with everybody, so, when it comes to my nearest and dearest, I always try to see them together.<\/p>\n

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We\u2019re not meant to go-go-go all day long without some time to pause, take a breath, and process what we\u2019ve just experienced.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

This will look different for you, but as an introvert, you\u2019ll likely feel depleted after hanging out with friends or family, no matter how much you love them. If you give yourself boundaries<\/a>, like agreeing to join your parents for Sunday dinner\u2014if<\/em> your sister can come too\u2014then you\u2019ll be preserving your energy for some of the other stuff that matters to you.<\/p>\n

Gauge your opportunities with \u201cutils\u201d (or your own kind of measurement)<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Utils (\u201cyou-tills\u201d) are hypothetical units that measure satisfaction, used in economics. Wikipedia\u2019s definition<\/a> of it is flimsy (scroll down to the Functions section) and it\u2019s the only one I could find. Long ago I had a partner who assigned a number of utils to things like purchasing a new chair or waking up five minutes earlier to enjoy a coffee. He\u2019d ask, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, how many utils a certain thing I was debating would give me. We used a scale of 1 \u2013 10; 1 being no satisfaction and 10 being the utmost. Together, we used this unit of measurement to help us make decisions. It\u2019s startlingly effective considering how simple the idea is.<\/p>\n

I encourage you to give it a go. How many utils would a night out with your best friends give you? 8 utils? How many would a night staying in, eating Thai food and reading<\/a> give you? 5? 9? Your answer should help you make your decision.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not an economist! Just an introvert clinging to a bizarre way of measuring satisfaction. But I\u2019m telling you, there\u2019s something about assigning values to things like meetings, dinners, and happy hours that makes this decidedly unscientific way of measuring satisfaction work.<\/p>\n

Side note: If you\u2019re an economist and are offended by my overly simplistic explanation and use of utils, I welcome you to leave a comment to enlighten us!<\/em><\/p>\n

Measure yourself against your own success metrics, not someone else\u2019s<\/strong><\/h2>\n

We introverts are observant people. We pick up on a lot that goes on around us, and that is something to behold. Less impressive, however, is our inclination to compare ourselves to others. I have to remind myself of this quite literally every day as I hack away at my years-long novel-in-progress. I heard someone on a podcast say not to compare your rough draft to others\u2019 final drafts, and it rocked me. I have spent so much time observing those around me and measuring my own success against theirs, further depleting me after the exhaustion I get from social interaction.<\/p>\n

The point of spending time with people is to fill our cups (that, and to earn a wage; oftentimes that requires being around people). Measuring yourself against other peoples\u2019 metrics of success is damaging and will further isolate you from the goings-on in your community, friend group, family, and place of employment. Look to interactions with these people who are lucky to be in your life as opportunities to fill your cup (even if you might need to rest after it\u2019s drunk).<\/p>\n

Introverts: We need to take care of ourselves. And while we\u2019re at it, let\u2019s take care of each other, too. We can create boundaries and<\/em> we can respect others\u2019 boundaries. We can celebrate our friends\u2019 success and<\/em> not compare them to our own.<\/p>\n

Whatever we do, remember what number one is. Nothing comes before number one.<\/p>\n

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