{"id":5048,"date":"2021-11-23T16:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-11-23T16:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/witanddelight.com\/?p=93892"},"modified":"2021-11-23T16:00:00","modified_gmt":"2021-11-23T16:00:00","slug":"return-to-yourself-a-practical-guide-on-how-to-retreat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ozapp.com.au\/?p=5048","title":{"rendered":"Return to Yourself: A Practical Guide on How to Retreat"},"content":{"rendered":"

Editor\u2019s Note: This article is a helpful resource on cultivating a healing retreat, written through the personal lens of the author. It touches on themes of mental illness and grief. If you\u2019re struggling and feel you need more individual attention, please consider reaching out to a trusted mental health professional for more in-depth, personalized care.<\/em><\/p>\n

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There are so many seasons of and reasons for unquiet, chaos, and distraction in our lives\u2014so many reasons to rush instead of pause, hustle instead of inhale\u2014that the very way we move through life can become mechanical, like we\u2019re on autopilot. A few months ago, Kate and the team prompted us to think about going back to basics<\/em><\/a>. Is there anything more foundational to which to return than yourself<\/em>?<\/p>\n

There are lots of ways to return to yourself, which can include tuning into your body, attending to some uncomfortable emotions, or just determining what sounds sooo good<\/em> for dinner after a day of distractions. Perhaps you have some practices already in place: journaling<\/a>, deep breathwork, prayer, weekly phone calls with someone who knows you well and tells the truth. I\u2019d like to add another to that list, especially if it\u2019s not already on yours: retreats. <\/p>\n

Now that we\u2019re heading into cooler temps (at least here in the Midwest), we\u2019ll soon collectively face the dual temptations of spending the upcoming season in hibernation or hyper holiday chaos. Consider resisting both (or perhaps giving into both, but only a little<\/em>) by instead taking up this middle space of retreating. And here\u2019s why: Retreating helps us look squarely at life and at ourselves<\/em>\u2014what needs are going unmet, what small, quiet longing refuses to subside, what\u2019s working and what isn\u2019t and maybe even why.<\/em> There\u2019s no escaping through hibernation nor avoiding through willful busyness.<\/p>\n

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Retreating helps us look squarely at life and at ourselves<\/em>\u2014what needs are going unmet, what small, quiet longing refuses to subside, what\u2019s working and what isn\u2019t and maybe even why.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Lucky for you, a retreat doesn\u2019t have to be some elaborate getaway or some highly structured, expertly facilitated event (though it can be\u2014more power to ya!). I\u2019m going to suggest, instead, that the most important elements for retreating are two things that are more or less in your control: intention and environment.<\/p>\n

Intention<\/strong><\/h4>\n

You may be itching for a retreat if you\u2019re holding a special intention\u2014something you want to commemorate or celebrate, some idea you want to spend time writing about, or a big life decision you\u2019re facing. You may just feel a vague fatigue of restlessness and hope to slow down for a bit. Perhaps you feel<\/em> distant from yourself and need a break from the routines of daily life that keep you from digging deeper. The point of your intention isn\u2019t to hold it in a grasping way that controls all that unfolds, but to let it color what you want a retreat to yield. It is a way of starting to turn inward and attend to yourself, listening to what questions or hopes might unfold in a more spacious way if you let them. <\/p>\n

Environment<\/strong><\/h4>\n

In addition to intention, environment is the other important factor. Retreats are different than, say, escaping to your favorite coffee shop for the morning with a notebook, or turning your cell phone off in order to read for a bit. While those things are both wonderful (do those things!), they aren\u2019t necessarily<\/em> retreating\u2014because in ways I don\u2019t fully understand, making small physical<\/em> shifts in your actual location is a powerful way to help facilitate mental, spiritual, relational, and emotional shifts in your mind and soul. By taking up actual new space<\/em>, you are free to take up space differently<\/em>\u2014and that freedom and permission permeate into other parts of your body, mind, soul, and reality.<\/p>\n

These two things are the basic ingredients, and from these ingredients, we can make a lot of different delicious and nourishing things. Let me give you three examples of how intention and environment have impacted retreats I\u2019ve been on, with some thoughts on how you<\/em> might begin to imagine retreating as an individual, in a small group, or in a medium-sized group. <\/p>\n

Retreat 1: A time of healing and processing<\/h2>\n

Works for a solo or small group retreat.<\/em><\/p>\n

As many who\u2019ve endured traumatic events know, the memories around trauma can be paralyzing. Years ago, I was moving through some grief and pre-grief surrounding my brother\u2019s suicide attempts. I realized that, even when he had made some progress and was in a healthier place, I wasn\u2019t. When I took stock of myself, I saw the need for a more spacious setting to process and heal. That was my intention: to make space to hear more about my own grief, worry, anger, sadness, and fear. <\/p>\n

When I realized my intention, I realized what I needed may very well have been what others<\/em> needed, too: I invited my mom and sister to join me. They let me lead them through the day.<\/p>\n

Environment was an important factor. We went to another part of town, to a cafe we didn\u2019t know, full of people I didn\u2019t notice. We gave ourselves a whole day, with pens and notebooks and no technology. I planned this retreat so we could easily walk to a local house of worship, where the sounds and smells and presence of other people turning inward encouraged a sense of being at once anonymous and yet connected. <\/p>\n

On this day-long retreat (a Saturday), we\u2026 <\/strong><\/p>\n